We live in an age of enlightenment…or so they say. We definitely live in the information age. As for the age of enlightenment…that may not be so true.

Parenting is tough…no baby comes with an instruction manual and every child is unique.

However, too many parents seem to believe that children are fine without guidelines or moral teachings. They seem to think that with all the information available in the world – their children will just absorb everything that is out there and be equipped to sort it out all by themselves.

I would never be in favor of returning to the days of rulers across the knuckles but I have seen firsthand the effects of parents who don’t care sufficiently or provide adequate nurturing, teaching, and boundaries…and the effects of that type of parenting are neither good nor positive for a child’s health.

I believe that there is a natural order that is meant to be followed: which is that parents are the parents because they are the ones who are meant to be in charge of the household – not the children. If it were meant to be the other way around – I believe that God would have had children giving birth to parents.

I have dealt with two adopted children who have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). RAD is an emotional disorder caused when children are not nurtured or kept safe. (There is more to it but for now that explanation will have to suffice). My children have RAD because they experienced abandonment and neglect. However, a child does not have to be abandoned or neglected to experience the emotional fall out of RAD.

Just let a child “Rule the Roost” and let him/her know in no uncertain terms that they are in charge and you have created a potential candidate for RAD yourself.
Have you ever noticed that children who run their homes are angry children with blatant disrespect for everyone and everything around them? There is a reason. A child needs boundaries. The soul of a child inherently knows that their parents should be in charge and teaching them and setting the example, etc.  When no guidance or boundaries are established by parents, the child is left feeling scared, abandoned and unsafe – even if the parents are right there in their presence.

I had a therapist describe it something like this: “Who knew that when we were changing their diapers (of our emotionally healthy children) while they were screaming, and fighting us and hating it; when we didn’t let they have their way or climb where they wouldn’t be safe; when we didn’t let them steal a toy from another child – they knew we were communicating that we cared and that they were safe and that we were helping them to be emotionally well.”

So…if you want your children to be emotionally healthy – love them, snuggle them, give them strong boundaries, teach them morals and appropriate behavior, teach them to work and be a contributing member of your family, teach them to respect you , others and themselves and you will have a much greater chance of raising a happy,  emotionally healthy child.